


Fear

by doctrpepper



Series: touch the sky [1]
Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Angst, Episode: s03e14-15 The Boiling Rock, Implied/Referenced Abuse, M/M, Ozai (Avatar) Being a Terrible Parent, Pre-Relationship, Wingfic, i havent seen the episode in forever so im going off memory and fanfic so timing might be off, i wanted to write about how having wings would change things but i ended up with. this, the prison gang is here too but pretty minor, this always happens when i write about my favorite characters i should stop trying to plan
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-17
Updated: 2019-03-17
Packaged: 2019-11-19 15:17:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,481
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18137444
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/doctrpepper/pseuds/doctrpepper
Summary: “we need to fly the rest of the way,” sokka warns as the gondola comes to a halt, and it's only then that he realizes that, in all the time he and the others had known zuko, none of them had ever seen his wingsor, in which i think wing fics are cool and try to work the mechanics into the atla universe





	Fear

**Author's Note:**

> ive been thinking about how a wing au would operate in the existing atla universe and ended up writing an angsty fic about my boy. ah well.
> 
> yet again have i written a fic entirely to a song that has nothing to do with it (and is in russian) and yet again i named the fic after it. take a [listen](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vGKAz2cBhU8) if you like it's my favorite band.

Zuko suggests - insists on, more like - taking his war balloon to the Boiling Rock instead of Appa. Sokka can understand the reasoning behind it, but is unsure about riding around in the weapon of war he'd inadvertently helped create. He'd honestly rather fly to the prison under his own power, but Zuko tells him it would be better to conserve his strength. Fine. Whatever.

As they fly, Sokka lets his wings extend and absentmindedly cleans out his feathers. He notices that Zuko keeps his own wings carefully furled even as he relaxed - well, as much as Zuko can relax, anyway. Sokka gets that maybe in the Fire Nation grooming your wings would be an intimate act or whatever and he gets that he and Zuko aren't exactly friends, basically just allies right now, but that won't stop him from giving his wings a nice deep clean while they sit awkwardly and wait for the balloon to chug along. He hopes they won't have to do any fancy flying when they get there, Zuko's wings are probably super cramped by now. But that's the his own problem - it's not Sokka's fault if the guy doesn't want to stretch his wings out.

Zuko reclines his body, stretching his arms out, and Sokka eyes his muscles as they tense and relax. Well, now. At least he gets a view, much better than the ocean passing beneath them.

The balloon doesn't quite make it to the prison - which is on an island. In the middle of a dormant volcano. That's peak Fire Nation aesthetic right there and Sokka would be impressed if he didn't have to break in and later out of it. Sokka jumps out before the balloon hits the boiling water and glides gently to shore, but Zuko stays inside, trying desperately to keep it in the air. He manages to make it to the beach, but the balloon crashes and crumples up on the rocky shore. Sokka runs forward to help, but Zuko jumps free on his own.

They end up shoving the balloon into the water to hide the evidence and try to work out some sort of strategy on the climb up the side of the building. Sokka wonders why they can't just fly, and Zuko reminds him that that's what the guards expect them to do. Sokka sighs. He understands that, in order to keep from getting discovered, their best plan is to do everything with minimal flying, since the Fire Nation expects anyone breaking in - or out - to be flying, but he's never really done any sort of mission without using his wings before.

Actually, Zuko's right, people do rely on their wings too much, him included. Maybe they will pull this off. Sokka resumes climbing with more resolve than before.

They reach the guard tower with no resistance and miraculously find some discarded uniforms in their approximate sizes. Sokka struggles with the straps for an embarrassingly long time, and by the time he looks up after fighting with his chest plate, Zuko's entirely changed, his wings tucked away again. Damn, he's fast. Then again, he knows what he's doing - and isn't making any move to help. Jerk.

Sokka manages to figure the rest out, and the two head out, hoping to come across some sort of gathering place for guards and get their hands on some information. After a detour in which they learn about the coolers the guards use to hold firebenders - and, hmm, that gives Sokka an idea - they end up in a dining hall. It's then that Sokka realizes the other guards all have their wings out, using the slit in the armor. Sokka realizes he's the odd one out here, and slides his own wings out under the guise of stretching them, hoping no one noticed he'd had them tucked away.

Zuko doesn't make any move to do the same, which Sokka finds strange, but whatever. He gets weird looks, but no one actually says anything, so it's probably okay. The prince would know best if it was actually a problem, Sokka reasons.

Later, Sokka finds and soon is catching up with Suki, and suddenly there's a commotion from outside. He can't really make out what's being said, but there's the distinctive sound of someone being slammed against the door. Great Tui and La, this is not good. He manages to get out of the situation with his cover intact, but Zuko's is blown, badly. He feels guilty - it had been his idea to talk with Suki, he could have planned it better, but he'd been itching to see her. She'd kissed him, on the cheek, and where he would once have wanted it a little to the left, he's totally satisfied with what he got.

No, focus, that's something he can deal with after he breaks her out. Despite how his feelings for her aren't nearly as romantic as they'd been before, he still likes her, and is going to do everything he can to free her.

Sokka thinks back to the cooler. Maybe Zuko being a prisoner could be used in his favor…

Zuko's willing to follow his plan, thank Tui and La, and they get help from an unexpected - and, honestly, unwanted - source. Chit Sang complicates everything, but he helps get Zuko in the cooler, and that's good enough. Besides, he's a prisoner too, and he deserves his freedom.

Sokka doesn't ask why Chit Sang was put in the prison. No one does. He hopes it was something that hindered the Fire Nation, for Aang's sake.

The escape goes - nowhere near as well as Sokka planned. He ends up staying behind on the beach with Zuko and Suki, and Chit Sang ends up halfway across the lake before the cooler is hit with a harpoon. The prisoner and his two pals try to fly the rest of the way, but the guards are clearly ready and nets follow the harpoon. Chit Sang gets tangled in one and falls hard back into the cooler, but his girlfriend and friend make the flight. Sokka isn't sure what they expect to do at the other end - he hadn't been sure what he would've done if things had gone according to the original either - but at least they're free. Hopefully they can make the flight to the nearest island and stay free.

He doesn't have time to contemplate the fate of two people he'd barely even met, because he sees his dad. Tall and strong as always, despite clearly weakened by prison life. His large black wings extend to their significant span for one glorious second before a guard angrily yells at him to keep them shut. Sokka gasps. He's an impressive sight, despite the prison garb and signs of malnutrition.

More importantly, he's here. Sokka can do it. He can free his dad.

Zuko grips his shoulder and offers a few words of encouragement, and Sokka feels his spirits rise. He can actually do this. He can save both Suki _and_ his dad.

As soon as he can, he makes his way to his dad's cell. After he reveals himself, Hakoda pulls him close and Sokka finds himself in the embrace of both his dad's arms and his wings. They spend a good length of time just talking, and when he finally leaves, Sokka feels lighter than he has in a long time. His wings are perky, betraying his mood, but no one seems to notice.

Except Zuko, who gives him a wry smile when he visits. He's wearing the same loose prison garb as every other prisoner, but unlike the rest, his don't have slits for his wings to extend. Sokka wonders at that, but decides it doesn't matter. He guesses Zuko will just have to take his shirt off if they end up needing to fly out of here.

He realizes he's never seen Zuko without his shirt, and he's not totally sure why he's suddenly so interested in the sight. Yet another thought trail to follow after their prison break, he tells himself.

They meet again in the yard later, all four of them, plus Chit Sang. The newcomer makes himself useful by helping start the riot, and Sokka reasons he's not so bad, especially as he'd also gotten the guards off their tail by implicating another guard in the escape, and that guy had been a real jerk, too.

While everyone's fighting, Suki takes off and flies up to the balcony where the guards are trying desperately to get some sort of order together. Her wings are a beautiful tawny color, small and thin, but they're strong and fast and the guards are no match for her maneuvering. In seconds she's got the warden tied up. The rest of them fly up to meet her - with the exception of Zuko, hindered by his clothes, but he scrambles up the wall pretty quickly instead of removing his shirt and Sokka's simultaneously impressed by his skill and disappointed he hadn't seen Zuko take off his shirt - _not_ the time.

They make it to the gondola - Sokka wonders briefly why they're there but then reasons it's not in a prison's best interests to let prisoners fly their own way over. Zuko lags behind to kick the controls and keep anyone from stopping them - not useful if anyone decides to fly over, but the threat of dropping the warden in the boiling lake is enough to prevent that. Hopefully. The guy jumps after the gondola, and Sokka reaches out a hand to catch him without even thinking about it. He makes the jump cleanly, too, without any aid from his trapped wings, which Sokka finds nothing short of impressive.

Zuko's sister and her pink friend show up then, just as they'd thought they were going to make it. The pink girl's wings are white and fluffy - the only person with white wings Sokka had ever seen aside from Aang, though the girl's are much larger since Aang used airbending to help himself fly. Azula's are a deep tawny, almost pure gold, and the silky texture despite their recent use shows off how well groomed they are. They're long but wide, and she uses them like a second set of arms, balancing herself on the swaying gondola. As he fights her, Sokka wonders if Zuko's are similar.

The warden breaks free by battering at Hakoda with his wings and shouts to cut the line. Everything sways as the gondola stops suddenly, and Sokka almost goes over the edge, his wings unfurled but useless as his balance falters. Zuko catches him, but Azula and Ty Lee fly away, to the safety of the other gondola. Azula looks back and smirks at her brother, looking triumphant.

The crew inside the gondola spread their wings, readying themselves for the short flight from the doomed gondola to the lip of the mountain surrounding the prison.

“We need to fly the rest of the way,” Sokka warns, grabbing Zuko's shoulder. The guy is focused on something happening back at the prison. Sokka turns to look, and, to his surprise, it's the other girl in Azula's little band. Her solid black wings are arched in a defensive position, and she's throwing her knives at - at the men cutting the line. They move away or are thrown, and the gondola jerks into motion again, even as Hakoda and Suki jump into the air. They look back in confusion, and Chit Sang pokes his head out from where he was struggling with the warden. The girl - Mai, if Sokka remembers correctly - looks up at them, and despite the distance, something passes between her and Zuko. Zuko turns away, looking like he's in pain. Sokka keeps his hand on the guy's arm, but it's less of a warning now, and more of a comfort. Zuko doesn't push it away, so he counts it as a win.

Suki and Hakoda alight on the top of the gondola, and the four of them watch as Azula confronts Mai, then is taken down by Ty Lee, of all people. Sokka glances at Zuko, who clenches his fists and hisses, “she shouldn't have done that.”

Sokka can't understand what just happened. Mai had attacked the guards cutting the lines. While it was nice that she wasn't being totally evil and was helping them, she didn't need to sacrifice herself to Azula's wrath - and Ty Lee too, the girl had seemingly chosen Mai over Azula, which is interesting, to say the least. But what Sokka doesn't understand is why Mai had fought so hard to get the gondola to finish its trip. They were so close to the end already, they could have just left the warden and flown the rest of the way and they probably could have made it, too. Zuko's wings were trapped under his shirt, and he hadn't felt the need to use them before, but this time he -

It's only then that Sokka realizes that, in all the time he and the others had known Zuko, none of them had ever seen his wings.

He's jolted out of his thoughts as the gondola reaches its destination, and they're all rushing off to Azula's airship. There's a few guards, and Sokka has to focus on fighting them instead of his dawning realization.

Zuko immediately sets about getting everything going, and he and Chit Sang use their firebending to start up the airship. The ship only really needs one firebender, but Zuko looks like he needs to let out some anger, so no one stops him.

Sokka doesn't get a chance to talk to him until everyone's settled down to sleep. He's taken first watch by the engine, claiming Chit Sang had been in prison far longer than he and deserves a rest, but Sokka finds him at the window instead of next to the burner. He's gazing out into the sea, an unreadable expression on his face.

“So,” Sokka begins, then immediately doesn't know where to go after that.

“So,” Zuko replies, which - okay, fair.

Then Zuko heaves a sigh. “You want to ask about - about the gondola.”

Sokka reaches out to put a hand on Zuko's arm - pauses, watching the other boy's face, then continues when Zuko leans toward him. Zuko heaves a sigh.

“My wings -” He says. Then stops.

Sokka waits, his hand on Zuko's arm. His thumb starts to move up and down, soothingly, just like his dad used to do whenever Sokka was feeling down.

Zuko makes a disgusted face, then steps back and takes off his shirt in one fluid motion.

At first, all Sokka sees is his chest. It's a _very_ nice chest, and exactly what he'd been hoping for, better, even, but it doesn't explain - he notices only then that he can't see Zuko's wings poking out above his shoulders. Normally even if someone's wings are closely furled, bits of them stick out, even in a front view, so why -

Then Zuko turns around and Sokka sees why. There's - nothing. Well, not nothing. There's two long, dark gashes at his shoulder blades - right where his wings are _supposed_ to be. It's a messy scab, but smooth, like -

Like they were cut, Sokka realizes, and suddenly he feels cold. Despite the heat of the air, and the fire in the engine right beside him, he feels chilled down to the bone.

Zuko turns back and hugs his arms to his chest. “Disgusting, right?”

Sokka doesn't answer, stuck in a horrified trance. Who would - why would -

Zuko laughs brokenly. “I - you deserve to know. Mai knows - they all do - I -” He looks away, but Sokka can see tears building in his eyes. “I don't want to slow you down. Again.”

Sokka wants to protest. He wants to scream that Zuko could never slow him down, he was just as good without his wings, look at all they'd just done - he hadn't needed his wings at all until the end, and it had gone fine, sort of, not really, but they made it - but he can't get the words out. He's still frozen in shock.

Wings are - they're more than just another set of appendages. Arms and legs, people can do without, technically, they do it all the time, they get by. Sight and senses? Toph is a prime example of how people can get around that. But wings - even earthbenders, even Toph who tried to stay on the earth as much as possible, all of them couldn't keep away from the allure of the skies. If she's flying by herself, Toph can manage well enough, and though she doesn't often stray far from the ground, she's always willing to go for a flight with the rest of the group. Flying is a part of them, it's a part of everyone. Airbenders have - had - the deepest connection to the sky but everyone can touch it. Everyone feels the pull, the connection to the open expanse of the air.

For someone to be without that connection - to have it cut off like this - well. Sokka can't imagine. Not even the prisoners at the Boiling Rock, the prisoners the evil, awful Fire Nation saw as their worst enemies, had had their wings cut off. It's unthinkable.

And yet.

Zuko seems to be waiting for Sokka to respond, and growing more agitated the longer he stays silent. Sokka takes a deep breath, then reaches out and grasps at Zuko's hands, pulling them free from where they're pushed against his body with his arms. Surprisingly, Zuko lets him, though he seems confused.

Sokka gently rubs his thumbs against Zuko's hands, trying to comfort him as best he can while he works through his thoughts.

“Who -” He asks, then thinks better of it.

Zuko answers anyway. “My father.” He looks away and Sokka feels a deep hate rise in his chest. Yes, he'd known the Fire Lord was the ruler of all the evil Fire Nation so it stands to reason he'd be the nastiest nasty of all but this - to do _this_ to his _son_ \- unthinkable.

Zuko goes on. He seems to be doing a little better, maybe getting it out is good for him, despite how Sokka is steadily building up to taking over for Aang and killing the Fire Lord himself. “It was because I was banished - that was after the Agni Kai, where I got - he said I needed to learn discipline, back then, when he - and then later, when he - he said I needed to learn humility - and I _thought_ I had, you know, since I refused to fight him and got my face burned off for it, but I guess I was just - I thought I was a failure. I convinced I deserved it, somehow, that I'd get my honor back or whatever - I was so stupid. It was two blows right after another, you know? First I have to face him in - and then I failed at that, and I blamed myself but - then, right after, I get banished, and they - he did it himself, you know, I'm not sure if he does it to anyone who's banished or just - and it took me so long to realize that - that he - that I didn't deserve that. But for so long I thought - if I'd just been smarter, done better, been better -”

Somehow they've ended up on the floor, Sokka's arms wrapped around Zuko's shoulders. He's careful not to touch the scars on his back.

Zuko takes a deep breath, and after a few seconds, he pulls away. “You - don't have to say anything, or - or anything. I just wanted to explain - I shouldn't have dumped all that on you, at least without warning.”

Sokka's still reeling from all he's heard, and all the implications embedded in there. “You just needed to let it out, I get it,” he says eventually. “When all this blows over, you should probably talk to someone about - someone who's better at words than me. I - well, all I can say right now, is that I'm gonna kick his ass, and I'll do it for my tribe and my sister and my friends - and also for you. Because he's stupid and he sucks and he's, like, double evil. Triple evil, even.”

Zuko huffs out a small laugh, and leans into Sokka so his head is resting on his shoulder. “Thank you,” he says quietly.

They stay like that for a few minutes longer, then Zuko pulls away to put on his shirt.

“If you ever want to - well, vent, I guess,” Sokka begins, somewhat unsure, “I can't promise a helpful response, but I'll listen.”

Zuko smiles sadly. “Thanks. I'll - I'll think about it.”

“And,” Sokka adds, leaning forward and looking Zuko in the eyes with the utmost sincerity, “if you ever want to take your shirt off again, I'll be there, if you want.”

**Author's Note:**

> i do have actual thoughts about how wings would fit into different facets of the atla canon so ill probably be making this into a series. if yall are interested.


End file.
